tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31471890488310970762010-04-26T20:13:21.677-07:00A Moth To The FlameA MOTH TO THE FLAMEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16866935553016901702noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147189048831097076.post-43619113070458424052010-04-26T20:12:00.000-07:002010-04-26T20:13:21.684-07:002010-04-26T20:13:21.684-07:0010 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP RUN SMOOTHLY<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 14px; "><b>10 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP RUN SMOOTHLY</b><br /><br /><br />1. KNOW YOUR MAN. Know his likes, dislikes, tendacies, and goals.<br /><br />2. DESIRE TO PLEASE HIM. Desire to make him happy, even at your own expense, real men reciprocate<br /><br />3. MELD YOUR DREAMS. If he loves politics and you love politics work together not apart. Build a foundation rooted in friendship and cemented in trust<br /><br />4. IGNORE THE SMALL STUFF. Would you sell a Benz because it got mud on it? So why lose a great man over a blemish. 20 years waiting on Mr. Right means losing a quarter of your life you can’t get back. The best generals know what battles to fight and when to take the high ground. Give him guy time, ignore the toilet seat, laugh at things that might irritate you, it will pay off when he looks at you as being the woman who loves him despite his faults. That’s the woman he marries, not the the woman who nags and makes him act perfect all the time<br /><br />5. ***BE HIS EVERYTHING IN THE BEDROOM***What you won’t do, another woman will. Yes, it’s true you can find another man, but is it worth it. You are gonna do it at sometime, with some man, why lose this one over something that you will regret later. You may laugh as you read this, but I guarantee you there is a woman right now in America who wishes she could get her Ex man back and is walking around with Volleyball Kneepads in her purse, hoping she finds him. Hindsight is always 20/20<br /><br />6. RECOGNIZE HIS PROMISE AND FOSTER IT. No two women represent this more than Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton. BOTH women were ahead of their men in law school and married someone who was behind them, they advised their men and were partners. Although Bill strayed, he has damned near destroyed his legacy trying to help her win the nomination, and no one can doubt the love and gratitude Barack has for Michelle.<br /><br />7. CREATE THE MEMORIES. All relationships have their bad moments. When those moments arise, you will need to look back on the memories to get you through them. The fewer memories you have, the less likely it is you will survive turmoil<br /><br />8. BE SECURE AND DEAL WITH YOUR OWN PAST BAGGAGE. Nothing upsets a man more than being accused of something he could do, but he isn’t doing because he loves you. This is a sure fire way of pushing him down temptation alley.<br /><br />9. DON’T GET COMFORTABLE. Once you got him, remember how you got him. How you got him is how you keep him. So if you started cooking and cleaning, either keep doing it or start off sharing the responsibilities. A lack of effort often denotes a lack of desire, and if you don’t desire to make him happy he will see it and act accordingly<br /><br /><b>10. ********DON’T DO ANY OF THIS FOR A JERK OR A SELFISH MAN******* Just because he is educated, good looking and charming, doesn’t mean he has the right to mistreat you. Although you should overlook small things and do whatever it takes to please a good man, you can’t make snowballs in hell and you can’t make a man love you. Infidelity, abuse, disrespect, and dishonesty are not to be tolerated. So if he is a jerk or a selfish man, move on…</b></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3147189048831097076-4361911307045842405?l=amttf.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A MOTH TO THE FLAMEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16866935553016901702noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147189048831097076.post-15653739744525076102010-04-26T20:09:00.000-07:002010-04-26T20:10:44.042-07:002010-04-26T20:10:44.042-07:0010 MEN EDUCATED WOMEN SHOULD NOT DATE<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 14px; "><b>10 MEN EDUCATED WOMEN SHOULD NOT DATE</b><br /><br /><br /><br />1. A MAN WITHOUT A MORAL COMPASS<br /><br />WHY---- WHETHER IT IS CHRISTIANITY, ISLAM, BUDDHISM, OR WHATEVER…. MOST ORGANIZED RELIGIONS STRESS HAVING A MORAL COMPASS AND HOW TO TREAT SOMEONE. EVEN IF YOUR MAN IS NOT RELIGIOUS HE NEEDS A MORAL COMPASS. A MAN WITHOUT A MORAL COMPASS WILL MOST LIKELY NOT RESPECT HIS WOMAN AND IS BEHOLDEN TO NO ONE. THIS MAN IS NOT PROHIBITED BY ANYTHING ONCE THEY FEEL THEY CAN ESCAPE SOCIETY'S LAW AND YOUR EYESIGHT….HE WILL CHEAT WITH ANYONE OR DO ANYTHING THAT FEELS PLEASURABLE.<br /><br /><br /><br />2. A MAN WHO BELIEVES THAT HE HAS THE RIGHT TO TELL YOU WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO SAY, HOW TO ACT, WHAT TO WEAR, WHOM TO HANG AROUND, WHERE TO WORK, AND WHOM TO TALK TO<br /><br />WHY----THIS MAN SEEKS TO CONTROL YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT A PARTNER HE WANTS A SUBORDINATE. YOU SHOULD MARRY A HUSBAND NOT YOUR FATHER. EVEN IF A MAN CAN GIVE YOU ADVICE TO BETTER YOUR LIFE IN AREAS YOU ARE WEAK, THAT ADVICE MUST BE WELCOMED AND EMBRACED. OTHERWISE, IT WILL FALL ON DEAF EARS AND RESENTMENT WILL BUILD INSIDE YOU TOWARDS HIM. YOU WILL LONG TO ESCAPE AND BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T THINK THEY "KNOW EVERYTHING", AND THAT ESCAPE MAY LEAD YOU TO STRAY EMOTIONALLY AND EVENTUALLY MAYBE EVEN PHYSICALLY<br /><br /><br /><br />3. A MAN WHO WOULD PUT HIS HANDS ON ANOTHER PERSON VERY EASILY<br /><br />WHY----A MAN WHO WILL HIT SOMEONE ELSE EASILY, WILL ONE DAY HIT HIS WOMAN. THIS FOOL HAS LOST HIS EVER LOVING MIND AND DESERVES A ONE WAY TICKET TO THE HOSPITAL. IN TODAY'S SOCIETY TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON ANOTHER MAN WITHOUT FULLY UNDERSTANDING THE CONSEQUENCES DOESN'T MAKE YOU A THUG, IT MAKES YOU STUPID. THIS MAN HAS NO RESPECT FOR OTHER'S LIFE OR HIS OWN. HE IS A PRISONER OF HIS EMOTIONS AND HAS POOR IMPULSE CONTROL. HIS LACK OF IMPULSE CONTROL CAN LEAD HIM TO HITTING YOU(HIS WOMAN). IF A MAN EVER PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU AND IT HAS NOT BEEN PROVOKED BY A PHYSICAL ATTACK(AND I MEAN A SERIOUS PHYSICAL ATTACK), YOU MUST LEAVE HIM IMMEDIATELY AND NEVER LOOK BACK. HE IS A WEAK MAN AND CAN NOT BE TRUSTED. THIS MAN CAN NOT CONTROL HIS TEMPER AND ALL IT TAKES IS ONE PUNCH TO SEVERELY INJURE OR KILL A PERSON IF HE HITS YOU WRONG. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY AND NO MATTER HOW SORRY HE SAYS HE IS AND WHAT HE TRIES TO PROVIDE AS GIFTS….DO NOT GO BACK. ALL THE SORRIES IN THE WORLD CAN'T BRING YOU BACK IF YOU'RE DEAD OR BADLY INJURED.<br /><br /><br /><br />4. A MAN WHO ALWAYS HAS A PLAN FOR SUCCESS BUT YOU NEVER SEE THE FRUIT OF HIS LABOR.<br /><br />WHY----THIS MAN IS A BULLSHITTER. THERE ARE 3 TYPES OF MEN. BULLSHITTERS, BLUFFERS, AND SHO NUFFERS.<br /><br /><br /><br />BULLSHITTERS TALK A GREAT GAME AND EVERY WEEK HAVE A NEW SCHEME OR PLAN TO GET MONEY, BUT THEY NEVER PRODUCE A STEADY STREAM OF INCOME THAT COULD SUPPORT A FAMILY OR EVEN THEMSELVES<br /><br /><br /><br />BLUFFERS TALK A GREAT GAME AND EVEN HAVE MEDIOCRE SUCCESS AND THEY SPEND ALL THEIR INCOME SHOWING OFF TO THE WORLD THAT THEY MADE IT INSTEAD OF REINVESTING AND BUILDING UP THEIR NET WORTH. (I.E. THE GUY WITH A RANGE ROVER OR BENZ LIVING IN AN APT. NOT A CONDO OR HOME…THE GUY STILL AT HIS MOTHER'S CRIB AND SHE IS NOT SICK OR DISABLED….THE GUY WHO'S ALWAYS COMING TO YOUR PLACE BECAUSE HIS ROOMMATE HAS COMPANY THAT NIGHT, BUT HE DRIVES A CAR WITH RIMS WORTH MORE THAN THE CAR )<br /><br /><br /><br />SHO NUFFERS TALK A GREAT GAME AND WALK A BETTER WALK. YOU SEE THE FRUIT OF THEIR LABOR. IT MAY NOT BE INSTANTANEOUS, BUT THEN AGAIN ROME NOR MICROSOFT WERE BUILT IN A DAY. THIS DUDE MAY NOT HAVE THE FLASHIEST GEAR OR CAR, BUT HE HAS A PLAN AND YOU CAN SEE IT DEVELOPING. THE WOMAN WHO FINDS THIS MAN AND STAYS LOYAL IS USUALLY REWARDED FOR GETTING IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR. EITHER THROUGH HIS LOYALTY AND DEVOTION OR THROUGH THE COURT BECAUSE OF COMMUNITY PROPERTY<br /><br /><br /><br />5. A MAN OVER 27 WHO WEARS REAL DIAMONDS AND HAS THE HOTTEST CAR WITH THE HOTTEST RIMS, AND HAS THE HOTTEST BEDROOM WITH A PLASMA TV AT HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE.<br /><br />WHY----NOT ONLY IS THIS MAN A BLUFFER, HE HAS NO RESPECT FOR YOU OR HIMSELF. WHAT ADULT MALE INVITES A WOMAN TO HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE TO HAVE SEX AND THINKS THAT IS RESPECTFUL? WHAT WOMAN FEELS COMFORTABLE LETTING HER INHIBITIONS GO, KNOWING THAT HIS MOTHER COULD KNOCK ON THE DOOR AT ANY MINUTE? UNLESS HIS MOTHER IS ILL, THIS MAN HAS ATTACHMENT ISSUES AND YOU NEED TO BE WEARY OF HIM.<br /><br /><br /><br />6. A MAN WHO HAS MORE THAN 2 WOMEN WHO HE HAS FATHERED CHILDREN WITH<br /><br />WHY----THIS MAN MAKES POOR DECISIONS. THE FIRST TIME MAY BE EXCUSABLE, THE SECOND TIME THINGS HAPPEN, BUT THE THIRD TIME YOU KNEW BETTER AND JUST AREN'T RESPONSIBLE. THIS MAN IS RECKLESS AND MOST LIKELY WILL HAVE BABY MOMMA DRAMA THROUGHOUT THE RELATIONSHIP. EVEN IF HE DOESN'T, HIS CHECK WILL ALMOST SURELY BE CUT IN HALF WHEN CHILD SUPPORT GETS HOLD OF HIM. DO YOU WANT TO BE ONE OF MANY?<br /><br /><br /><br />7. A MAN WHO ANGERS EASILY<br /><br />WHY----A MAN WHO ANGERS EASILY HAS A LOW TOLERANCE LEVEL. LIFE AS A MAN IS HARD. A REAL MAN KNOWS HOW TO STRAP UP WHEN THINGS GET HARD AND CARRY THE LOAD. HE DOESN'T BREAK DOWN AND SUBMIT TO EMOTION EASILY. HE DOESN'T BECOME FLUSTERED, BECAUSE A MAN WHO LOSES CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS IN CRUNCH TIME BECOMES A VICTIM. NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE…THE STREETS OR THE BOARDROOM….A MAN WHO GIVES INTO ANGER EASILY IS A LIABILITY. THIS MAN IS PRONE TO MAKE RASH DECISIONS BASED ON ANGER AND COULD DESTROY EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BUILT IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.<br /><br /><br /><br />8. A MAN WHO CRIES EASILY TO HIS WOMAN<br /><br />WHY----NO WOMAN WANTS A WEAK KNEE MAN. NO MATTER HOW IN TOUCH A MAN IS WITH HIS EMOTIONS, UNLESS YOUR MAN'S FAMILY MEMBER OR HIS BESTFRIEND DIES, YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO SEE HIM CRY. IF HE CRIES WHEN THINGS GET ROUGH, WHO IS GONNA HOLD YOU WHEN YOU CRY? WHO WILL BE YOUR ROCK? AT SOME POINT, NO MATTER HOW OPEN YOU ARE, IF YOUR MAN KEEPS CRYING…YOU ARE GONNA THINK HE'S A BITCH ASS DUDE AND LOOK FOR A STRONGER MAN WITH A BACKBONE WHO SUCKS THINGS UP AND KEEPS IT MOVING. A WOMAN RESPECTS A MAN PRIMARILY FOR HIS STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE….EVERYTHING ELSE IS SECONDARY.<br /><br /><br /><br />9. A MAN WHO IS INVOLVED WITH ILLEGAL ACTIVITY<br /><br />WHY----THIS MAN WILL PUT YOUR LIFE IN DANGER JUST BY BEING WITH YOU. THE STREETS TALK. THE EASIEST WAY TO GET TO A MAN DOING DIRT IS BY GETTING TO THOSE HE LOVES. THE POLICE KNOW THIS AND SO DO HIS ADVERSARIES. YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHILDREN'S LIFE AND YOUR FRIEND'S LIVES ARE ALL IN DANGER DUE TO THIS MAN. ANY MAN, WHO WOULD RISK HIS FAMILY FOR MONEY, DOESN'T TRULY RESPECT HIS FAMILY AND YOU SHOULD REMEMBER THAT. HE WILL CONTINUE DOING DIRT UNTIL THE CONSEQUENCES CATCH UP TO HIM OR HE BECOMES ENLIGHTENED<br /><br /><br /><br />10. A MAN WHO DOES NOT LIKE THE SAME THINGS YOU DO OR DESIRE THE SAME POSITIVE THINGS IN LIFE AS YOU<br /><br /><br />WHY----RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT JUST BUILT ON LOVE. IF LOVE WAS ENOUGH, MUST RELATIONSHIPS WOULD LAST. CERTAIN THINGS LIKE DESIRE FOR CHILDREN, DISCIPLINE OF CHILDREN, WHERE TO LIVE, AND LIFELONG CAREER DREAMS SHOULD BE SHARED AND AGREED UPON, NOT FORCED UPON SOMEONE. LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIPS ARE BUILT ON COMPATIBILITY. IF YOU DO NOT DESIRE THE SAME THINGS IN LIFE OR DO NOT LIKE THE SAME THINGS IN LIFE YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF COMPROMISING OR GIVING IN TO YOUR MATES DEMANDS. WHEN A PERSON DOES NOT FULFILL THEIR OWN DESIRES THEY WILL FESTER UNTIL SOMEONE AWAKENS THEM OR THEY HAVE CAUSED A CANCEROUS RESENTMENT INSIDE OF THE PERSON REPRESSING THEM. THESE REPRESSED DESIRES, TO DO AS YOU PLEASE AND LIVE AS YOU LIKE, MAY CAUSE YOU TO DESTROY WHAT YOU HAVE BUILT. IT IS BETTER TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHO YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR LIFE WITH BASED ON LIKE DESIRES, THAN TO BUILD IT WITH SOMEONE WHO LOOKS GOOD ON PAPER, BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE IN TO THEIR DEMANDS AND YOU LOSE YOUR IDENTITY TO FIT THEIR MOLD.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3147189048831097076-1565373974452507610?l=amttf.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A MOTH TO THE FLAMEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16866935553016901702noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3147189048831097076.post-83029985994548017372010-04-26T20:02:00.000-07:002010-04-26T20:11:49.124-07:002010-04-26T20:11:49.124-07:00From A Man to Women...Stand Up and Date Wisely<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 14px; font-family:'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;font-size:11px;"><b>The common denominator in your relationship problems is not just the MEN, it's YOU!!!<br />What type of decisions are you making? Here are some real questions I want you to ask yourself when you are thinking about your relationships and the men you might date.</b><br /><br />1. Are you still influenced by media stereotypes and unrealistic expectations?<br />Why: Unless you uniquely define your expectations of a partner, your relationship parameters, your roles in a relationship, and what you need to be happy you will forever be influenced by others and will never be satisfied with a partner or their attempts to make you happy.<br /><br />2. What do you want out of this situation?<br />Why: If you don't know what you want, how will you know what to accept or ask for?<br /><br />3. What do you want in a man?<br />Why: If you judge a man based on media expectations you will most certainly fail. The reason why relationships in the past worked is not because women were oppressed, women weren't as educated, independent, or strong. It was because women knew what to expect of men, they expected it, and played their role to counterbalance his. There was harmony in households, because both people weren't trying to have a battle of wills. They knew how to compromise on the major issues, not argue over the minor issues, and men let women win, because a woman knew how to make a man feel like a man so there was give and take. Just remember, if you decide not to play a stereotypical gender role for a man….why should he play one for you? Should he then not buy a engagement ring (exclusive to men), pick up the check at major meals(societal pressure is on the man), practice chivalry(was meant to balance a woman's societal place based on her gender), or protect you from harm (if all things are equal shouldn't you both run when in danger…lol). Just like removing prayer and God from the schools, if you take a key part of an institution away, make sure you are immediately able to replace it with something that yields the same results as the item replaced, or expect dysfunction.<br /><br />4. What are your priorities in life?<br />Why: Do you want a family? Do you want to see your grandchildren? Is quality of life less important than the amount of materials possessions you acquire in life? Remember, just because you can have a child at 35 and 40 doesn't make it ideal. So what, you have a 30 year career…does it replace the love of a child? Does it replace the heartache felt by not having one? Just because some women can have children at 35 and older, doesn't mean every woman can. Fertility treatments are expensive. Remember, we are organisms. The next time you wonder if its nature or nurture, just ask yourself a simple question. What is necessary for the human race to continue to exist? If you're answer goes against that, then it's most likely a genetic defect or a learned behavior. Women are meant to reproduce at younger ages, not older ages. There is a large correlation between birth defects and the age of the mother. You can always shop, travel, or party…you are not promised to always be able to reproduce and have a healthy child.<br /><br />5. Have you dealt with the baggage of your past relationships and failures?<br />Why: If you are still making the new person live up to higher standards based on something they did not do, please expect for them to see this and judge you accordingly. Some common examples of this are:<br />a. Setting a probationary period for sex<br />b. Refusing to go out unless it's to a nice restaurant or something exciting and different<br />c. Refusing to open your heart and trust your partner<br />d. Sabotaging the relationship by being needy or checking up on your partner<br />e. Trying to force your partner into making you the first priority(remember you either are or you aren't…it's their decision, don't force it)<br /><br /><br /><br />With all this being said, think of your current situation. You are at this place in your life either due to purposeful decision or by default. Either way, you are responsible. Remember you had other choices in men. There were good, hardworking, educated, single men, with no children, and goals for the future. Remember, men like Barack Obama weren't the flavor of the month. He was not a sports star, he is not muscular, and he wasn't the coolest guy around by his own admissions. Yet, look at where he is now. There are many good men out there and you may be purposefully ignoring them because the media and society has refused to educate a lot of women on what a good man looks like...So now you ask...what does a good man look like....see the Blog "10 MEN EDUCATED WOMEN SHOULD NOT DATE"</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3147189048831097076-8302998599454801737?l=amttf.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>A MOTH TO THE FLAMEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16866935553016901702noreply@blogger.com0