Friday, September 24, 2010

TEXT in the City: What Carrie Bradshaw Didn’t Tell You About REAL Men

It always strikes me as odd that some women are using biblical terms when looking for men, but not biblical behavior. Maybe they don't realize that God never intended a woman to be searching for a man nor did he intend for her to dictate to a man what he must do to be with her. Many women assume men are listening to her words, but in truth we are observing her actions. We recognize deceit and gamesmanship, even in it's smallest forms. If she treats us like an option and not a priority, we recognize it. If she says she is not materialistic, but she continuously shows off her expensive items, we recognize that. If she says she wants to be treated like a queen but she is constantly being dogged out by men of bad character, we recognize it. Her actions will speak louder than her words and most of the time they have spoken for her long before thinks they have, whether she knows it or not. A real man will recognize a real woman. We have a blueprint. We know what her actions should look like. Her stated desires and her actions must be CONSISTENT with one another. You can't be looking for a king but playing house with the pawns.

Whether it was Proverbs 31:3-31, Ephesians 5:22-29, or 1 Corinthians 13:4-10.....there is a Blueprint laid out for how a woman should act, how a man should love a woman, how a woman should love and respect a man, and how love should look between a man and a woman. We have a blueprint for the rough days. 1 Corinthians tells us how to love and what should not infect or poison our love. Everything else outside of the WORD is media influenced hype that has lead to the increased divorce rates, illegitimate children, women with broken hearts, jaded men and women, and weak men who don't know how to love a woman. How could any man say "we don't need to be married, it's just a piece of paper" if he actually cares about himself. As a man, I am loving you as I love myself and as man loves the there is no need to run from marriage. Real men run towards marriage, not away from it.  Marital Unions are threefold. 1). It is a Union between Man and Woman in the Eyes of God that has biblical rules. 2). It is a legally recognized contract that gives each partner rights and legitimizes children. 3). It is a declaration of your commitment to your spouse that is being shared and witnessed by your community. Marriage is a beautiful and sacred union. Why are people playing married, when you can follow the blueprint to get married. If he won't marry you, there is a man who will. The excuse of poor selection only exists for women who have been influenced to select men based on a media marketed criteria. You can't always get everything that you want. You must prioritize. Is the union more important than the Fairytale wedding?  Is the character of the knight more important than the shiny armor that he wears? How thirsty will you become before you choose to drink the Aquafina that is provided instead of the Evian you are waiting for? Your choices speak volumes about you and what actually drives you.

We have the rules and the blueprint. At some point we need to stop remixing the bible. If a woman wants a godly man, she needs to act accordingly so that he may find her. Matthew 7:6 warns women about dealing with the wrong men.....and yet these issues are still around. Many women make up every excuse for their poor judgment and their lack of patience. Why can't women simply read Matthew 7:6 which says "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."---This is Matthew 7:6 and this is knowledge that we overlook. This oversight is why women are looking for a man instead of making themselves available and attractive to a man looking for his rib. No man wants a woman who has made a habit of giving dogs what is sacred, because after those dogs have torn her to pieces she is no longer the virtuous woman that the wise mother instructed her son to find in Proverbs 31. Some men will try to put her back together, but the wise men will read Proverbs 7:7-27 and will stay away from her. The media can tell a woman what she should want to look like. The media can even empower a women to be hypersexual in order to feel empowered and strong. Ladies there is a simple truth. The bible has already told women what a god fearing man seeking to be equally yoked will desire. A woman can go watch and follow the examples of Sex in the City all she likes, but if she really wants to find a good man, she may want to follow and apply the Text in the City. 

1 comment:

  1. Amen, Amen, and Amen! John, you have spoken THE TRUTH! As a woman that does NOT subscribe to the "I can't find a good man" idea, I found this very enlightening. The scripture says: A MAN WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING. Therefore, that tells me I should NOT be LOOKING for a man, but remain steadfast that the RIGHT and God-appointed man will find me in God's time. What I will say, is that it often takes women many bad experiences to see this as fact. As humans, we are so ready to make things happen the way they are supposed to. I believe that patience truly is a virtue and when it is practiced, it really helps you to see the signs that will either make you run away from the bad things or run to the good things. Ladies, continue to pray for discernment and practice speaking in specificity when speaking with the Father. Then and only then will you be able help prevent yourself from enduring unnecessary pain. Also, give yourself a chance to get to know yourself and that man will make himself known in due time!